No One Believes In You Anymore

When you first start out, there is no one on this planet that can stop you from your dream of becoming a successful author. Your family and friends will support your efforts and wish you well.

A year goes by, then another. That’s when things start to get really hard. You begin to question your decision. You may even give up. But you will always return and keep trying.

As you continue writing novels, a dark, negative thought creeps into your subconscious. You may not notice it, or you may ignore it, but it will not go away. It always remains with you.

You write several more novels. Perhaps you are eight, or ten years into your attempt to become a successful author. By then, you are working so hard on your dream, you do not have anymore friends. You depend on your spouse and close family for support.

You keep writing. Your imagination becomes powerful. It has influence on your reality. But the dark thought continues to linger and spreads to your mind, consuming your days and cutting into your nights. This is when many authors begin to heavily drink, or take drugs. They suck down sleeping pills and chase that with a shot of cold medicine.

You keep writing. You keep trying. Another year has gone by.

Your family struggles to remain supportive. Your spouse begins to have doubts for the first time. There is no question about your talent, courage, or efforts, but your results are what people do not see.

You keep writing and finish another novel. More time slips by. You begin to feel guilty, but you cannot change course, because you are an author. It’s what makes you happy.

You start to feel that you have become what you cannot be.

The nights become longer. The lingering darkness is ready to pounce. You question your own existence. You wonder why God has blessed you with the gift of storytelling, but not blessed you with a flourishing career.

No one ever seems satisfied. Readers have many choices for books and authors. It is hard to find an audience and it is even harder to keep them loyal. Publishers want the unreasonable, or they will not look in your direction. Authors that do not work as hard as you do seem to get more credit and more money.

The dark thought plays tricks on your mind. It develops into a thick fog of bad judgments, mistakes that you have made, and problems that you have faced.

What is the dark thought? It is loneliness.

Hot tears spill from your eyes. Your heart feels like it wants to stop beating. Your mind wanders to places that you wrote about in your novels, but that evil has become your reality.

No one is left to support you, except for your characters. They remain steadfast. They want you to keep writing. They are all you have left. So you write another novel, then another, even if that means you will be alone the rest of your days.

Then, you are saved by four words. It’s all you needed to hear. These four words will keep you from the grave of despair and rejection. These four words will keep you alive. It is the key to drying your eyes, fueling your heart, and propelling your career to what you dreamed it would become.

“I believe in you.”

But who said those words? Who saved you?

Only you can answer that question…

Ron Knight 

www.authorronknight.com

 

Ron Knight

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Comments

  1. Interesting! And I don’t know if anyone has experienced this paranormal phenomena: You get a beyond normal connection with your characters and feel compelled to keep them alive by continuing their saga.
    I have also experienced Automatic Writing most of the time-Believe it or not!

  2. Gosh, Ron, you present a bleak picture of my possible future. But like Candide, I’m a slap-happy optimist. I’ve already uttered those four words; in fact, they are my mantra.

    Years ago there was a silly movie/musical called something like “How to be a Millionaire.” The hit song was “I Believe in You.” Some of the lyrics were: “And when I feel your hand grasping mine, I take heart . . .” I loved the song, thinking it was a love lyric. When I finally saw the movie, I saw a man singing to himself in the bathroom mirror, grasping his own hands above his head.

    That’s me! (Oops… I’m not a man…but you get the idea).